By: Elvisa Durmic, Senior Director of Customer Success at Suzy

Moms are like supercomputers running 1,000 tabs at once—but there’s no “Ctrl+Alt+Delete” when things crash. Instead, we keep the whole system running, balancing a mix of tasks, decisions, and emotions that often go unseen. Enter: the mental load, the quiet MVP of family life.

The mental load is the invisible, cognitive labor required to manage a household and keep life moving seamlessly. For moms, this load extends well beyond physical to-do lists. It includes planning meals, remembering appointments, anticipating needs, managing emotions, and—let’s be real—serving as the unofficial (and unpaid) family COO. This work is rarely acknowledged but always critical.

The numbers tell the story: In a Suzy survey of 1,000 moms, 73% said they carry most of the emotional and mental load at home, while 90% agreed that today’s moms are expected to master parenting, household management, and personal goals—all with a cheerful grin. It’s a tall order!

If that first-hand Suzy data wasn’t sobering enough, a December 2024 study of 3,000 U.S. parents drives the point home: mothers juggle 71 % of all “mental-load” tasks—the invisible planning, scheduling, and remembering that keeps a household humming—while fathers handle just 45 %. Researchers warn that this lopsided cognitive burden fuels chronic stress, burnout, and even stalls women’s careers and relationships. In other words, before a brand’s message ever hits her feed, Mom’s mental RAM is already running hot—making genuine, load-lightening help feel less like a perk and more like a lifeline. 

Brands, meanwhile, are busy wooing Gen Z and Gen Alpha with trendy gadgets and viral dances. But here’s a reminder: Moms are here, and we’re not going anywhere. No matter the generation, you need us. We’re the ones steering the family ship—and the shopping cart— yet our experiences are often overlooked—or worse, misunderstood.

It’s Not Just a List—It’s a Lifestyle

Let me paint a picture of what the mental load really looks like. As a mom of two, here’s just a glimpse into my day:

• Keep the kids entertained but not overstimulated.
• Practice gentle parenting (while resisting the urge to yell “because I said so!”).
• Introduce new foods without sparking a coup.
• Manage screen time and avoid toxic ingredients in, well, everything.
• Make doctor’s appointments, shuttle kids to activities, and keep the house clean enough to avoid stepping on a Lego (IYKYK).
• Balance a full-time job, remember birthdays, and squeeze in self-care (hello, hiding in the bathroom with my LED mask!).

And when I take a break to scroll through social media I’m met with picture-perfect “Momfluencer” content: pristine white couches, kids that aren’t tearing each other apart and Montessori playrooms straight out of an HGTV special. It’s no wonder that 50% of moms agree social media sets unrealistic expectations of motherhood, making it even harder to feel like we’re getting it right.

Meanwhile, my kid is melting down because I dared to give him blueberries instead of grapes—and in the wrong color bowl.

To quote my six-year-old: “Come on, bruh!”

The Unseen Burden

What’s exhausting about the mental load isn’t just the doing—it’s the constant thinking. Moms are the human Google Calendar, the snack-day savant, the “where’s my other shoe?” psychic, always making decisions that balance everyone else’s needs. It’s a full-time gig with zero pay and even less fanfare and 63% of moms say brands add to the stress by pushing picture-perfect vibes.

So brands, let’s get real: Are you helping, or just making it worse?‍

A Call to Brands: Help, Don’t Hinder

Here’s my open letter to marketers: Moms are key decision-makers, controlling the majority of household spending. Brands that show empathy, offer real solutions, and change the narrative from pressure to partnership are the ones that win.

Some are already leading the way:

1. ‍Nike made a bold and meaningful move by introducing maternity wear and spotlighting a pregnant woman as a coach—a moment that felt revolutionary to moms like me who worked out while pregnant. It’s hard enough navigating a changing body without the added weight of judgment or struggling to find clothes that actually fit. Nike didn’t just offer gear—they sent a message: You belong here, too.‍
2. Gether understands the heart of the issue: the mental load is too often shouldered solely by moms. In fact, Millennial and Gen X moms spend a staggering 520 hours per year on invisible labor—that’s the equivalent of nearly 13 full workweeks. Gether’s digital tool helps organize family responsibilities in a way that redistributes—not just logs—the work. It’s a practical step toward real equality at home and shows that this brand truly sees us.‍
3. CAKES Body is stepping up for working moms with its $36,000 Childcare Credit, covering daycare or babysitting for young children. By easing the crushing cost of care, CAKES is removing a key stressor that often forces moms to choose between career and family. In a world where women still earn less, this isn’t just generous—it’s essential. CAKES shows how real support empowers moms to thrive at work and at home.

Want to stand out? Here’s how:

✔ Acknowledge the mental load – Moms want to feel seen. Recognize the emotional and cognitive labor we carry.
✔ Offer real solutions – Streamline tasks, save us time, and make our lives easier.
✔ Challenge perfection – Enough with unrealistic ideals. Show real moms, real households, and real life.
✔ Talk to us – Involve moms in your research. Ask us what we need. 

Suzy’s got the tools for that! Suzy’s latest innovation, Suzy Speaks, lets you talk with moms instead of guessing about them. Powered by an AI moderator, the voice-driven survey experience captures rich, qualitative stories at quantitative scale. Ready to lighten moms’ mental load with insight-led decisions? Put Suzy Speaks to work and start building campaigns that feel like partnership—not pressure.

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